Another 5 Minute Mental Health Fix
March 5, 2019
I will address the doubters and the ones that grabbed a stopwatch later…
Caveats and disclaimers — I am not your therapist. I can’t solve complex mental health issues, things related to grief or trauma or other such issues in 5 minutes. That is ridiculous.
Sometimes, I run across a situation that repeats itself on my couch that is relatively simple to address and absent appropriate action can create/exacerbate all sorts of mental health issues.
Today let’s talk about slot machines, dead car batteries, stray cats, your refrigerator and bullies/annoying people. They all are related.
Slot machines don’t pay out predictably. Why is it that people will sit for hours putting one quarter at a time into a wishing wheel. Like that?? Huh? Did ya?? I know, it’s awesome. 🙂
They do it because it does pay out sometimes and not knowing when is a very powerful motivation to continue when paired with “It will.” I am not a researcher and I won’t bore the reader with technical psychological jargon. Nor will I lie and say I know all the technical psychological jargon. Just a Country boy from the South!
Slot machines will pay out sometime. What about that dead car battery? If you have experienced this, you probably turned the key many times. You probably turned the key harder. You probably added mashing the gas pedal to the process of desperately trying to get it to start… Stay with me, these connect.
A stray cat shows up. Do you feed it? If you never feed it, how long will it stay around? If you feed it consistently, how long will it stay? If there is food out there every now and then, will it periodically show up?
Pretend for a moment that you are the only person who lives in and has access to your home. You wake up Monday and go to the fridge. Nothing in there but light and cold air. Close the door, go to work hungry. Come back that evening and you are a bit peckish. You open the fridge, nothing but light and cold air. You shut it and go to bed. Tuesday you wake up and go to the fridge. What’s in there? Yup, light and cold air. Think about how many times you would actually go to that fridge.
Chris is annoying. Chris says or does things to get a rise out of you, almost as if Chris finds enjoyment in doing it. You have tried ignoring Chris. Made it three days, and a whole week one time! You have told Chris to stop. Still, Chris continues to find a way to push your buttons! You have been nice, you have yelled, you have glared… Nothing works!
Chris is a putz and needs to be stopped. These annoying creatures like Chris waste so much time and disrupt so many lives. Getting Chris to stop is easy. The hard part is dealing with the person trying to get Chris to stop. I bet that person is encouraging and reinforcing Chris to continue! The high probability outcome answer is about how you react/act regarding Chris’s behavior. Without exception, you do not give in, ever. Here come the “buts”, excuses and extremely early capitulations… Yeah, you need to work on the person trying to get Chris to stop LONG before you attempt to work on Chris. 🙂
OK, read through all the examples and connect the dots. If you have trouble. write a response. I gave you the high probability outcome answer.
But wait! somebody is left feeling unfulfilled after reading this! A little bait for a future writing. I want to encourage you to exercise the noodle and dig for answers and understanding. The more you do for yourself, the more you will find that you CAN do for yourself. It’s healthier for you in the long run. OK, run along and figure out that dead car battery.
— R. A. Grier