qui tacet consentire

Fantastic job! Truly terrible consequences to come, but great job!

January 18, 2021

It seems that we aren’t going to stop until we are beating each other with clubs in the streets in the name of equality and unity. “Because I am SO RIGHT, I must hurt people who don’t think as I do.”

Fear and insecurity drive/will drive most of the actions. I don’t think for a minute that there isn’t a puppet master (probably not one person) out there just tugging away at the strings. They are comfortably away from consequences and have long since abandoned a conscious.

I don’t like it, but I have to admire the rollout. Heck, in just a few years, concentrated venom, lies, deceit, hatred, and an orchestra of media wonderment have put us in a position to kill each other. We will too. People who are misguided and undereducated in critical thinking will be the first to go to blows. Passionate people will be next. Then, with the advent of the first rounds of violence, there will be trauma and vengeance violence. It will get very bad. We don’t have to go there. I don’t want us to go there, but that is where we are going.

I gave up on listening to political leaders in our country a long time ago. Say one thing and do another. Promise and not deliver. Over and over and over again. I couldn’t give an actual number of federally elected officials that are still good folks, fighting and working for the benefit of us all. I am guessing that number is in the very low double digits.

The law? Maybe the Supreme Court will save us? No. That has long since been a corrupted body through a terrible practice or political theater appointing and allowing activism from the bench. Neither “side” cared when it was in their favor and only cared when it was being done to them.

The military will save us? Man, if there is a group of people I love and respect it is our military. Are they going to start policing the citizens? If there is a huge red flag, that day would be it for me. Grab the go bag and quietly, but rapidly exit stage left.

Police? Similar to our military, I have much love, but same as the military, are they going to round up their neighbors for “crimes” when they are fully aware that the “law” is no longer, of by or for the People?

Who is left? Anyone got any evidence that I am wrong? Don’t waste my time with trolling or rabbit trail conspiracy stuff. Trump isn’t Jesus and Joe has been there promising solutions for 50 years. Congress is a bought-and-paid-for joke. The Court is… is, well something. I don’t know. Besides we have made the “laws” a joke of a system for many generations. We have rewritten the Constitution and besides besides (he he) only five people know that it existed in the first place.

I am done with putting expectations of “help” on the Federal Government. It is no longer designed for that purpose. We have torn down churches. We have changed schools to be indoctrinating machines that pump out social warriors, but no critical thinkers.

I won’t crawfish and start supporting the woefully small number of people doing the right things for the rights reasons. I know they are out there, but the TREND is TRENDING in a VERY BAD DIRECTION. And, it has been for a long time.

I have been accused of being Chicken Little saying the “sky is falling.” Say what you will, but I am not going to tell you constantly, that there is a bear and keep on trying to convince people as it walks toward us. Nope, at some point, you and the bear will get to know each other and I will be somewhere else.

Anyone reading this and calling me stupid is CLOSE to being right. The definition of stupid is not the thinking error I am suffering from. My thinking error is that I am ignorant. I have no clue how to to fix it. I don’t know how to stop it. Some days I feel like the lone guy on the side of the road holding up a sign that says, “Jesus Saves”. He does, but the name “America” isn’t in the Bible.

I don’t know how to use reason with people who aren’t equipped to think that way. No, let me correct that. I DO KNOW HOW, but dang that is a full time job for 100,000 people. I am one. There is much opportunity to help people learn when they are too busy screaming or accusing someone they have never spoken a word to of being the greatest threat to mankind since Satan. Heard that for both Trump and Obama.

I am not aiming this at politics either. Our bad choices and bad behavior is local and personal. If everyone was reasoned and had critical thinking skills and LOVED each other, then we would not have this issue. I have a running “experiment” where I wave at people. All types of folks. Pretty much everyone I see while driving. I track the number of acknowledgments and return gestures. Now, I know not everyone is paying attention. I know not everyone waves. But I also know there has been a change. Fewer waves overall and increased number of acknowledgements with no gesture. There is no way of knowing the “why” for the data, but I can infer and hypothesize. Anyone bothering the read this can too.

So, I am ignorant. OR is it that I feel/am helpless? I know what needs to be done, but it isn’t happening and my years of efforts, haven’t yielded enough results. Again, back on the side of the road with a sign. Maybe I expect to be that Tiananmen Square guy. Man, that was something and inspiring.

Keep dividing and we will be divided. Keep hating and we will hate. Keep ignoring and we will all be ignorant. Keep on traveling down this path and we will kill each other in the name of something. If we do this LONG ENOUGH, it will be generational behavior, just like bigotry and racism.

I know I am getting tired. I am not a martyr and while I know there is discomfort that comes with a helping attitude, I am not a crash test dummy either. I have tried over the years to teach and model what it is to be a decent human being. I do believe that I always will, but my audience and efforts to grow the audience will reduce. I am not interested in some Pareto Principle waste of my resources.

A while back I wrote a piece about how we have screwed up a good thing. I think I lied to y’all and I want to retract/correct. In the end of the piece, I said we will Stand Up again for good and righteous reasons. I don’t have any evidence to support that is true.

— R. A. Grier

January 7, 2021

Golly, things seem to be getting rough out there. Not at my place, but in a land far far away that is probably in a different world.

Perception is a dangerous thing and it is also my definition of reality. I have to keep careful watch over my perception and I use tools like critical thinking to do it.

I really don’t give a rip about what happened in DC yesterday. I would suggest that you should not either. Why? Let me ask a simple question. What can you TRULY DO about it? Get mad? Yell? Worry? Now, let me ask you how that changed the situation for the better or made your world better? I will wait…

It isn’t a superpower to not be scared or react. It is however, a well practiced set of skills.

Expect things to not be wonderful. America is blessed and fortunate and OMG, absolutely wealthy beyond belief. That’s how we can afford to worry about things like who is calling themselves a girl today and a pan-gender cat tomorrow. Good golly, if we have time and energy to spend on that non-sense, then we have it made!

So, the trap for all this wonderful is that we get complacent and very used to being comfortable. Not just yesterday, but anytime the earth shakes a little, people get their little worlds rocked. Pay attention to that if you are one of those people. DO SOMETHING about it.

Maybe put down the remote and pick up a new habit. Let’s be very honest with ourselves right now. Most people are scared of things like yesterday, because they are not prepared to deal with it in their own lives. Solution? get prepared. Take a class. Learn some self defense. Pay attention to what is around you while you walk and not your stare down at your PHONE. Teach your kids to be planners, thinkers and prepares. DON’T keep modeling fear and weakness and how to be the number one soft target for butterflies.

Or don’t.

Unless you have been under a rock… No let me change that. If you have been comfortable watching your shows, hanging out on social media and living for the weekend focused on ball and promotions over and over and over… You have been blind in your own chosen vision, SO you may not have noticed that thigs are not trending well. Things are NOT dire and things are NOT a minute away from exploding, BUT they are not trending well. So, do something for yourself and your family to take care of yourself and your family.

PLEASE stop yelling at the TV. Good lord what a passive aggressive weak waste of time

PLEASE stop wasting time and energy being indignant at some post on FB. See above… same thing different source.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE stop arguing with zealots, idiots and the enemy. It’s not your job to save the world. Can anyone, anyone truly believe that this is effective? SMH…

PLEASE stop waiting and wishing that things somewhere else, controlled by someone else are going to suddenly start looking like a bunch of unicorns farting rainbows. THAT IS DELUSIONAL.

Also, I hate to say it (love my military and my law enforcement!) BUT NO ONE is GOING TO SAVE YOUR ASS should things really get sideways like you fear. Quit worrying about saving the Country when you aren’t prepared to save your own ass or defend your home or your family.

So. Take the most precious resource you have and pray, plan and prepare. Do you have to become a ninja that lives in a bunker? Nope. How about let’s start with not being a soft target? Maybe take the same amount of time spent worrying and fretting and being PO’d and redirect that to learning and watching and preparing?

I do it every day. I go out in the public. I go to Church. I am still happy. I still have a good time and go pretty much where I please. I still am considered by most who know me to be friendly, approachable and helpful. Not hiding in a hole. Not paranoid. Not perceiving everything and everyone as a threat.

I don’t strut like John Wayne or John Wick. I don’t think of myself as Rambo. I know I am not bulletproof. As a matter of fact, I will quietly and quickly depart situations that are perceived to be threatening or dangerous. That is a smarter way to live.

Not a superpower. No, just a little more prepared and ready than the next guy.

Oh, and don’t waste my time trying to tell me why I am wrong. I’m good.

Love Y’all!

— R. A. Grier

October 20, 2020

A few more days to go before the election. Well, I can’t really say if it is an election in any true sense of the word. There will be a whole bunch of people marking an oval next to a name. That is when truth stops for most.

Most will have no real idea of what they are choosing. Most will have not thought about the choice but will have been coerced or manipulated or just flat out told what their opinion is. The app, device, tablet, TV, radio, or whatever device spewing the media message will have told them how to act. And, for the first time in my lifetime, I think the majority won’t be exercising a conscious choice at all about the potential direction of a Country. But, I bet we will have voting in record numbers.

I am a little astonished that I am going to write this next line, but I don’t think voting matters anymore. As a young voter I cared about issues and economy and people as much as my young and inexperienced wisdom could permit. I voted not for people, but for positions.

As I got older I started seeing more of the rest of the fellow voters casting ballots for people, then party then factions on up until this election where we will be choosing between my side and against your side.

We are choosing Gang leaders and we are just wanna-be members who hustle for the gang so we can have privileges of being in the gang. Nobody messes with us and if I do enough often enough for the gang, I can get promoted. If I sell my soul and lie, cheat and steal better than the rest I can become leadership.

The current gang leaders want your vote. You are still a useful idiot, so get to voting!!

Maybe a little bit of hyperbole in there, but am I that far off?

If you think I am wrong and that your vote has merit, let’s run a test. You have two tasks.

#1 — Who are you voting to become the next President?

#2 — Really quickly, what are the top three positions that support your choice for President?

#3 — Repeat #2 above with 5 of your closest friends or family.

Here is how I think it will go for most everyone. You and very few people will have a problem answering #1.

Regarding #1 –People who say they don’t know who they will vote for will fall into a handful of categories:

1. You have no idea what goes on outside your own little bubble of life. You are ignorant and never should have kept the privilege to vote.
2. You are afraid to say. Either because you are ashamed of your choice or you don’t want to potentially defend the choice. Dear lord, you should have surrendered your privilege to vote long ago. Well, I guess if you had the fortitude you would have.
3. You think you are truly unsure about the choices of platforms. Again, you probably should turn in your voter card.

Regarding #2 – I bet you will likely struggle greatly with iterating a position, much less three. Babbling will replace words and the logic train will fly so far off the tracks, that the last sighting will be somewhere near Jupiter. I bet you will huff, get irrational and that will be it.

Regarding #3 – I bet your friends and family will perform about the same as you. The repetition will serve as representative evidence of my point.

Lots of numbers and references to numbers. Bottom line is that I doubt most people know why they are choosing a candidate. I bet their selection was decided for them by the media. I further bet that it has to do with liking one guy and or hating the other guy and that is where their reasoning ends.

I think the Current DNC Platform is 90ish pages. GOP is 70ish pages. Libertarian is 10ish. Green Party is 160ish. Those documents talk about positions and the path their candidate will take if elected. Maybe look them up? Perhaps one person in ten thousand has even looked at the documents. (I only listed the parties/platforms that could be elected and left out the other 220ish party platforms)

Back to my initial point. No one cares about position. Now we only fight about personality and health and style and who we hate the most. We are being played and played so very well by somebody. Whipped into a frenzy of stupid, hiding behind our shield of civic duty of voting. All sides are equally innocent. And all will face the consequences together. I bet even in the firing line there will be glares at old enemies just before the primer explodes. That is, of course, after the idiots are no longer useful.

For quite a while, I have tried to help. I write and speak and serve and there hasn’t been any change. I vote and I am civil, but voting isn’t real anymore and our cluster of inhabitants on some geography isn’t civil. My attempts to help aren’t helping.

So what to do? Grab a gun and charge Washington? Stand on the corner with a sign? Sit behind a keyboard and type? Dissociate from those different from me? Boycott? Ignore it?

I think a radical once wrote that in war the end justifies almost any means.

I agree with him. I only know of one end and I am working toward my goals for that end.

I can do a lot, but I can’t do it alone. One man is a martyr, and I am not dying for something that does not exist or exists to destroy me.

Die for a system that is corrupt? A process that is broken? For a Government to which I do not exist except for monetary contribution and penalty distribution? For a group charged with keeping virtue virtuous with sunlight who spread nothing but darkness?

AND if anyone takes that last paragraph as me taking a shot at those who serve, you are wrong AND part of the problem. Not against them or their choices and am so very grateful and humbled by their service and sacrifice.

So what will I do? I will write and continue to try to “ring the bell” of warning. I will try to be a good example of what I believe is the best course for the Country. I will vote. I will vote for position, not people. I will defend position choices.

I will not berate, attack, demean, belittle, or hate. I might need some help every now and then with those goals. Maybe if you help me be better, then maybe I can help you be better. Maybe.

If WE don’t change the way this Country is headed, then WE are in a whole lot of trouble. If we have another Revolution, maybe this is just a resume writing for my application into the one that is built on reason, and love and helping ourselves while helping others so that we all can make the place work. Maybe a place that we can be free, raise kids safely and pursue happiness. Maybe we can call it Utopia. That sounds like a better destination than what we are sort of choosing now.

Last thoughts. I bet that a few folks had these same ethical/personal debates way back in the Declaration Days. And no, I don’t think my name will appear in the history books of the next century as one who led the way to the New American Revolution. No, just a guy talking out loud a few days before an election that does not matter for the next leader of a country that used to matter.

Now, on November 3^rd, don’t forget to Vote!

— R. A. Grier

The Glowy Boxes are casting evil spells on us!

August 24, 2020

Won’t be long today. Just an observation.

As we approach another season of elections, I have purposefully not engaged the debate at the State or Federal level. I pay attention to almost exclusively to local/regional news and international information in certain parts of the world. I stepped out of the forest, so to speak.

By not engaging daily, I am also avoiding being manipulated daily. The various information and marketing sources do a really good job of leading people to the outcomes that those paying for their services want.

So, that is the setup to the hopefully helpful part of my article.

People are being whipped into a divisive and often angry frenzy. Smart people aren’t so much anymore. They use words, but act as if they were on an elementary school playground enforcing no-trespassing on the slide.

Useful idiots are yelling, and trolling and taunting and spewing arguments (often just spewing) about things they have no real foundation of knowledge or experience. People… LOT’S of people are taking up positions in support of the position or maybe just to yell and be mad or have power?? Who knows? They certainly don’t.

I keep hearing echoes from people. They repeat things they read or see or hear without bothering to check to see if it is true. As long as it makes them feel good, they repeat.

It’s easy to fall into that trap. We all want to be liked, important, unique and a part of something. I can get famous and possibly have a revenue stream by posting a 15 second video of me falling into a pool.

I don’t want to be famous. God has already given me everything I need and quite a bit of what I want. I don’t need likes or approval. I don’t have to be a part of any group. Yes, truly, my level of not caring about a great number of things is staggering! And I am happy.

Maybe this article is more of a request. Just stop. Stop paying as much attention to the glowy box (TV, Device, computer, phone, etc…) I bet you are being manipulated. I also bet that you will be happier and have more free time to spend doing happier things that have far more meaning.

Love Y’all!

— R. A. Grier

04-18-2020

America is under attack. Heck, I believe the world is. Neither the world nor America has very much to fear from COVID-19 in my humble opinion. We have a lot to fear from those manipulating the masses through fear and disinformation though. A lot!

I think I have more to fear from sharks in tornadoes than from COVID-19. But my job and businesses and family have been upended. My friends and their lives messed up badly. I am helping people people who are scared to death of COVID-19 and giving themselves ulcers, selling their stocks, fearing the “man” and way over-indulging in booze, drugs and porn. They tell me I have to stay away from my friends. They say I can’t go to the beach. I can’t go to church. It may be a crime if I do.

I am struggling to find evidence to support this reaction and continued actions on the part of Local municipalities, States, Governors, the FEDGOV Congress and even the President. It is absolutely rediculous. I guess I have to write the standard disclaimer. Yes, people hurt and died and suffered from this Virus.

Rough numbers – forgive me if I am errant, and as always, correct me on the math.

3200 die every day in the US from car wrecks

1300 a day in the US from smoking

800 a day in the US from obesity

1600 a day in the US from cancer

140 a day in the US from suicide

Suicide is beating COVID-19 right now in number of deaths in the US.

Obesity deaths in the US are outpacing COVID-19 in the WORLD 2:1…

Smoking, Obesity, Car wrecks and suicide are all arguably avoidable. I don’t see people changing those behaviors in droves or the Country outlawing cars or tobacco. I don’t see the obese panicking to get on a treadmill and buying up all the veggies in the store. Sadly we do more to ourselves that either doesn’t help those with suicide or downright enables it. Don’t see any mass efforts to mitigate those behaviors with a sense of urgency.

Oh, and the regular flu kills about the same as COVID-19 year after year after year… after year. I do believe that it is roughly the same sort of thing, right? Didn’t see any masks last year… or the year before or the one before that…

Stop it. Just damn stop it. Quit running from something that you can’t see, you have already been exposed to and will be again. Forever more, I think COVID-19 will be around. Do we stop everything next year? Or do we shut down every time a new virus comes out? Reminds me of living in Florida during hurricane season. Some partied, some lived in fear and some ran for the hills. A few too many times we OVER reacted for minor storms. I remember driving 26 hours to get just a few dozen miles. no gas, no food, no bathrooms… When I got back to my home many days later, a potted plant on my balcony was turned over. That was the “damage” from the hurricane that necessitated a “mandatory evacuation.”

Conspiracy or not… let’s face it, none of us will ever be in a position to ever know what goes on and who made the decisions and for what reasons they made those decisions. No, but when you see smoke, there is a good chance of a fire being close to it. It doesn’t guarantee, but there is a fair chance. And that isn’t conspiracy.

Shutting the economy down benefits those who position themselves to short investments, gouge customers, sell ads and provide new areas of economy.

Shutting down the economy and sheltering in place, redirects the attention away from everything else. Damned near anything can be happening and no one is either there to see or really cares to look, because they are running away from the biggest damned red herring the planet has ever seen.

Shutting down the economy benefits a certain political group in America. The incumbent President had one thing that he could solidly lay claim to fame for in his term and that was the economy. Not so much now.

Immediately when this thing kicked off, certain companies were positioned LITERALLY with the FEDGOV to provide “critical merchandise and services.”

From Mayors to Governors to the President and everywhere in between; government was in a very strong position to ignore the Bill of Rights, as well as immediately choose winners and losers in businesses.

SO, if anyone cares or is smart enough or has an attention span long enough to see this thing through WITHOUT getting freaked out… If you will just sit still for a few months and watch who does what. Watch how the numbers and story and narratives change. Watch to see who benefits. Watch to see who loses. Then look for patterns of the winner manipulating the truth to hurt the losers. (BTW, don’t put yourself in that category, you don’t matter to them.) Once you find out that you got tricked into running away from a contrived crisis, then I hope you will help round up the bad guys and try them for treason and have them shot. All of them.

— R. A. Grier

February 11, 2020

Reference: https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/new-york-sues-trump-administration-over-global-entry-ban-it-n1134261

Recently, I read an article by a writer for NBC News. The link for that article is attached. I read many things and comment on few things. This article seems to strike a common cord that I believe should be considered & discussed.

As a “conditionally approved” applicant of Global Entry (GE) I cannot fathom the New York Attorney General’s (NY AG) attestation that suspension of the program makes anything or anyone less secure.
GE is a courtesy to those of us who travel “frequently” abroad. IMHO, the United States (US) is MORE secure by NOT HAVING Global Entry programs. And this is from a guy who has been waiting more than 7ish months to be approved/rejected. This guy also paid in advance to the tune of 170ish bucks.

The program (IMHO) is an attempt to provide more speed and convenience in vetting people departing from and arriving to the US. I am no expert, but I don’t think SPEED and/or CONVENIENCE are beneficial to prevention minded security measures. I think they are human weaknesses waiting to be exploited.

I am having trouble wrapping my brain around the allusion that we are worse off, from a security standpoint, by suspending GE and further, BETTER off, from a security standpoint, by allowing/promoting the free range, no fences policies of some Governments/Municipalities.
Let’s be real and reasonable. I am more than little bit angry that I must continually demonstrate my status as an “ok guy” although I am a non-fugitive nor suspected nor do I “make threats.” I have to frequently present identification, go through metal detectors & so on at many buildings, ballgames, on the highway, and each time I go to one of my jobs. HECK, I have to show an ID to get a bottle of wine!

Further, NY (et al) seem to be upset by the afore argued SECURITY INCREASING suspension of GE while at the same time encouraging, promoting, harboring, allowing, protecting & so on those who have not been vetted. They (the unvetted) work, drive, go into our schools and otherwise roam without interruption. In that allusion, Suspension of GE is making us less safe, but allowing free range “unknowns” is ok. Perhaps I missed the logic.

Before anyone starts calling me “-phobic” or racist or whatever, let me be VERY CLEAR. There are many people who are in, come to and want to come to this Country that are good people, just trying to escape bad situations or take a shot at the dream. I alluded that I travel a bit. There are some amazing people from all parts of the world that don’t want to do anything but provide for themselves and their families and play and live life to the fullest. As long as they want to be better and to make our Country better, then I say come on. Heck, as long as you just aren’t trying to take way from…, then I am ok.

I will be very clear. I cannot and do not support the idea of allowing in those with bad intentions or who just plan on being “takers.” It’s not fair to me or my family. Charity is not enabling. I am not the defender or protector of the world either. It sort of ruffles my feathers when we (the US) are expected to pay for everything (most) and protect everyone but be derided as monsters and overbearing bullies of the world at the same time.

A little aside — The US is not pure in all of its efforts, I know.
One of the big things my government(s) is/are supposed to do is to provide for a common defense and protect our borders. I won’t go down this tangential rabbit trail very far, but just ONE of the reasons I am armed is that I am losing faith that either are willing or allowed to protect me. This article is yet another exhibit in my defense. This relates to the topic at hand regarding security or lack thereof.

Back to free range and fences — AND yes, you have to screen to find out if people are bad or takers. AND you have to mop up any messes that are made in the kitchen whilst trying to find that perfect recipe of protection and willingness to accept various huddled masses. Where is the dividing line between speed of entry for those who are ok and purposeful, intentional taking of time to do a proper job to make sure we screen out those who are not ok? That’s a process that will need to be forever refined and evaluated.

If you are still reading, thank you for your time.

Sadly, I don’t think any of this has anything to do with being reasonable or wanting to help the huddled masses or provide public service. No, (IMHO) this is an example of how we operate in the New America. Agendas, veiled as ideals without a hope of fulfilment are being suckled to the silent and ignorant & manipulated masses who ultimately bear the burden and consequences of implementation. Small, less than single digit percentage, groups are being subjugated and used. These groups are dictating to the majority by using social hostage-taking and character assassination AND even more manipulation of the ignorant and silent majority. (I HOPE THAT) You have to ask yourself, “How am I being heard, seeing as though I am only a small singularity of the population?” Well, maybe not in those words, but some one/thing is giving real support and power to your voice/messaging. Heck, not saying that every small voice is wrong by the simple fact that they are small. BUT reason/logic demands that you have to be objective and critical in your thinking, right?? Well, NO, you don’t have to. POWER ensures that anything happens anytime. If that is your goal, then do a gut-check on your purpose and drive on according to your values. I don’t know anyone that is so blinded by self, that is willing to hurt others in order to gain what they want. America was conceived, designed and earned through blood sweat and tears… of by and for the People. Those are historical words and antiquated beliefs. Many of us hold them dear.

Regardless of historical or antiquated, I and those like me will fight you when push comes to shove. Yes, I reiterate. We will fight you. Strong words, but don’t stop reading.

Here’s a clue about power allowance in the New America (yeah, this concept is not “New”, and I admit that.) As long as we aren’t rioting, those with real power and wealth are amassing more of each all along the way while, “We the People” are feverishly and continually dipping our lines trying to catch their red herring. All I ask is that you think about that a little while before you decide about that with a vote.

Back to the article — No, I suppose article is a mere dust-up from a “wanna-be player.” Stir up the ignorant so that you can gain power in an attempt to get closer to the top. The posturing is akin to middle schoolers fighting it out by making outlandish statements, huffing and puffing and being lost in emotional acting. The real power players laugh while people get busy defending or chastising either “side.” Think about that.

At least I hope that’s it. Otherwise, the folks in NY and many at the Federal level are using personal power and the resources and safety of their citizens as playing pieces in an unwinnable and extremely dangerous game. 

Y’all do what you want. If I am allowed to make a suggestion: at least question your leadership and the path they have you plowing. Maybe one day, you will get bold and try to figure out why you are wearing that yoke. And, let’s not be a part of the problem by fanning the flames or spreading propaganda. That just isn’t nice.

— R. A. Grier

Perception Sickness

April 10, 2019

I read an article this morning about helpful tips and suggestions to alleviate mental health issues or afflictions such as ADHD, depression, anxiety, etc. The author is on to something!

Some of the tips and suggestions offered — Taking breaks is a good idea! Writing things down is really good. I don’t argue much with self care as the writer purports. Sleep is a beautiful thing and very beneficial to overall well being!!

Please, no one take this writing as a challenge or negative reflection on almost everything the author wrote. I would like to push people (the culture) a little bit on some of the notions of sickness and disability and so on.

I push back on laying responsibility at the feet of a seemingly increasingly present boogy man called chemical imbalance and the ever-growing capitulation nation that rushes to join the throngs of folks who have a condition, illness, issue or whatever. In just a few generations how the heck have we gotten so sick and disabled?

I wish I was making it up, but while I write this, I got a call from a regional Social Security Disability office requesting records.

I haven’t seen it all.

I am not a psychotropic researcher.

I have not experienced every condition at every level.

Certainly, I have not met every person reporting to be impacted by the mental illness world.

Caveats and disclaimers out of the way… (I am certain I missed some, so Mea culpa!)

I HAVE been helping people for a great many number of years at both the lay level and the professionally licensed level.

What I have noticed is that there is an increase is “sick.” people. I despise the term. I truly despise a great number of things that have been done in my field all in the name of “helping.” Not the time or place for that rant.

Are there people out there with issues that require some medication help? Yes, I am hearing that a local doctor in my area is prescribing Ketamine. Smoke a joint, sure… take a shot of Jack? Pop some SSRI’s or SNRI’s, whatever. I am hearing that there is treatment involving LSD going on currently too.

The other thing I see a whole bunch of is “if I can just change that person, or that system or get this resource…” There are people whose only job duty is collecting resources for other people. There are those who are mortally wounded at the mere notion of a micro aggression. And it ain’t new, but if things and companies and systems were only fair…

More and more, we are moving to external things to fix the internal issues. More and more we are growing sick and disabled.

Well, I guess it’s true. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results…

— R. A. Grier

Another 5 Minute Mental Health Fix

March 5, 2019

I will address the doubters and the ones that grabbed a stopwatch later…

Caveats and disclaimers — I am not your therapist. I can’t solve complex mental health issues, things related to grief or trauma or other such issues in 5 minutes. That is ridiculous.

Sometimes, I run across a situation that repeats itself on my couch that is relatively simple to address and absent appropriate action can create/exacerbate all sorts of mental health issues.

Today let’s talk about slot machines, dead car batteries, stray cats, your refrigerator and bullies/annoying people. They all are related.

Slot machines don’t pay out predictably. Why is it that people will sit for hours putting one quarter at a time into a wishing wheel. Like that?? Huh? Did ya?? I know, it’s awesome. 🙂

They do it because it does pay out sometimes and not knowing when is a very powerful motivation to continue when paired with “It will.” I am not a researcher and I won’t bore the reader with technical psychological jargon. Nor will I lie and say I know all the technical psychological jargon. Just a Country boy from the South!

Slot machines will pay out sometime. What about that dead car battery? If you have experienced this, you probably turned the key many times. You probably turned the key harder. You probably added mashing the gas pedal to the process of desperately trying to get it to start… Stay with me, these connect.

A stray cat shows up. Do you feed it? If you never feed it, how long will it stay around? If you feed it consistently, how long will it stay? If there is food out there every now and then, will it periodically show up?

Pretend for a moment that you are the only person who lives in and has access to your home. You wake up Monday and go to the fridge. Nothing in there but light and cold air. Close the door, go to work hungry. Come back that evening and you are a bit peckish. You open the fridge, nothing but light and cold air. You shut it and go to bed. Tuesday you wake up and go to the fridge. What’s in there? Yup, light and cold air. Think about how many times you would actually go to that fridge.

Chris is annoying. Chris says or does things to get a rise out of you, almost as if Chris finds enjoyment in doing it. You have tried ignoring Chris. Made it three days, and a whole week one time! You have told Chris to stop. Still, Chris continues to find a way to push your buttons! You have been nice, you have yelled, you have glared… Nothing works!

Chris is a putz and needs to be stopped. These annoying creatures like Chris waste so much time and disrupt so many lives. Getting Chris to stop is easy. The hard part is dealing with the person trying to get Chris to stop. I bet that person is encouraging and reinforcing Chris to continue! The high probability outcome answer is about how you react/act regarding Chris’s behavior. Without exception, you do not give in, ever. Here come the “buts”, excuses and extremely early capitulations… Yeah, you need to work on the person trying to get Chris to stop LONG before you attempt to work on Chris. 🙂

OK, read through all the examples and connect the dots. If you have trouble. write a response. I gave you the high probability outcome answer.

But wait! somebody is left feeling unfulfilled after reading this! A little bait for a future writing. I want to encourage you to exercise the noodle and dig for answers and understanding. The more you do for yourself, the more you will find that you CAN do for yourself. It’s healthier for you in the long run. OK, run along and figure out that dead car battery.

 — R. A. Grier

Free Mental Health Monday

February 12, 2019

I started it yesterday, so back off. I know it’s Tuesday.

I see patterns of behaviors and responses in my work as a counselor. Recently an old enemy seems to be re-visiting more frequently. Other people’s approval is the seemingly indelible scourge in so many lives. The desire to be liked by others or agreed with or something similar can be very destructive. It can be, if you let it.

In other works and speeches I think I have been clear that I don’t really give a rip about what people think about me. I am not special, nor do I have super powers or a protection spell covering my brain. Nope, I am this way due to getting really tired and worn out years ago trying to make people happy. Darn near made me batty. Instead I make my own choices and my own decisions and enjoy my own successes and I own my problems. There are a few people in my life that I listen to, but that list is very short. Through experience, they have earned the right to speak into my life. As a thanks, I try very hard to be on their list.

Are there some people in our lives that may rank a little higher on the PA Scale? (I just made that up, Pay Attention Scale, seems good) Yes, I think there are a few folks that could be in the running for the PAS (see, it flows!) ((OK, I’ll stop…))

Parents, bosses, friends, authority figures, teachers all seem to be a decent place to start the list. Maybe they deserve a chance to speak into our lives without any prior experience with them. Give them a shot.

What about the guy in the grocery store one line over who, out of the blue, calls you hippy? True story – that happened to me. It is a long story, but thank God I do what I do for a living. I quickly ran through a checklist and determined that he was not under the influence, I did not know him and he did not seem to be suffering from an obvious mental illness. What does that leave? Hurt people trying to hurt other people. I looked at him and said, “It looks like you are having a bad day, can I help?” The guy didn’t take me up on it, but that’s not the point. The point is I didn’t get upset at the comment, because I didn’t care about the comment. He did not know me. I look how I do because I like it. 

Sweepers and Keepers. It seems like quite recently I wrote about this somewhere, but it deserves to be kept in the forefront as a decent defensive measure. Aside from some of the folks who might deserve a little grace on their opinions about us (like the list above), I would offer that you give everyone else the Sweepers and Keepers test. People will tell you early and often whether they care about and respect you. Repeat, people will tell you early and often whether they care about you and respect you. For example, let’s say you are on a date and the person says something that bothers you. Well, since no one on this planet has perfected mind reading, I suggest you tell the person that you did not like what they said. Among other things, this is called boundary setting and it is critical skill to develop and practice, especially when dealing with other people. Cat’s don’t seem to care, but that is a whole other article…

Now that you have put the person on notice, they have a choice to make about whether they respect or like you. Should they continue to repeat the same offense, you have to ask yourself, Sweeper or Keeper? If you choose to keep them, then just know that you are going to be offended and hurt some more by them in the future. AND by not defending the boundary, you are teaching them that they can do it more and more. Rules are so useless without consequences.

Got it? Really, it is pretty simple. The reason why people don’t put something like Sweepers and Keepers into practice is the reason that I get paid. People are dented and tarnished. For some reason, at some time in their lives, someone who shouldn’t have — that same someone told them that they didn’t matter. They trained them to keep reaching for the unattainable. Keep trying to fill a bucket with no bottom. Keep trying to perform, get A’s, get the crown or the goal or the job or the whatever in order to be like by someone that was supposed to LOVE them unconditionally. Yup, due to those early trainings by hurt people (remember, hurt people tend to hurt people) people fall into a few predictable categories. Either they stay victims or they become bullies. A few are resilient and come through unscathed.

So, let’s go out and practice. Decide on what you want in your life, set boundaries with people and defend the boundary. Don’t keep losers and hurtful people around to repeat their offenses. Poop stinks just about every time you choose to sniff it. If you need some more help or guidance on this subject, I suggest you spend a little time with a therapist. It’s what we do.

Love Y’all!

 — R. A. Grier

It’s ok

February 05, 2019

It’s ok, really. Even the stuff that isn’t ok, is ok. Why? Because, I looked outside and the sun was up again today and my cat meowed. Dirt was still there on the ground. There was a light chill in the air and I saw a few birds. Sort of like this time last year and the year before and the year before that. Look around and you will see that the stuff that is real doesn’t really change much. The chaos and cataclysm that I hear about on TV, social media and echoed from the mouths of some folks I meet ALL comes from artificial constructs. I have been saying it for a long time. Reality is a pesky constant. Cultural and social constructs are whatever we make them which also means they are changeable. They could be good and pleasant, but we are making them bad. Let’s stop. Things are ok if we allow and make them.

Welcome to a new day! A new set of everything! As I venture into 2019, I, like a few others, want to continue to better myself through introspection and calculated life changes. One of those changes I am working on is to try to ratchet down rhetoric and catastrophizing in my world. I won’t be the first to say this, but I absolutely want to co-sign the sentiment that we are getting out of hand with our statements, accusations and embellishments in this Country. A cursory look on various pages, boards and other media will quickly yield salacious, accusatory, divisive blah blah.

Relax, America is in existence and will be for the foreseeable future. Our economy is mostly good and stable. Our culture is mostly good and stable. Our educational system is mostly good and stable. We have what I think is the best healthcare and access to healthcare on the planet. We are engaged in science that touches everything from fuels, to soil, to food, to healthcare to space. Our police are mostly good. Our politicians are… ok, they are mostly sort-of good. We are ok. It’s ok, really it is. Can we do better? Heck yes, and I pray that we won’t ever stop trying. But, just because we aren’t perfect, we shouldn’t think for a moment that we are terrible and look for perpetrators. I challenge you to look for responsibility and accountability where it matters, in the mirror. 

For the record, I am pretty sure I have been guilty of some strong rhetoric in the past. I realize that I have a responsibility with my words. Growing means that you are better, stronger, faster, wiser, smarter etc. than before. The definition has a built-in premise that at some point you were less than, not as wise, not as informed and you made changes to be more than, wiser and more informed, etc. Cultural concept change – Let’s shift the focus & celebrate the progress and outcomes. Please, let’s not operate in what isn’t anymore. For example, Johnny used to be a punk. He got his butt handed to him a few times and he has decided that punkdom isn’t the way to go. Let’s work with the new Johnny. Let’s not define him eternally as the punk that he once was.

Personal growth statement of principle — If I believe I am to have influence, then I must be responsible for managing that influence. I am open to new information and I am open to thinking and acting in new ways. Echo chamber thinking doesn’t allow for new information. Not all information is good for me, but I can’t reasonably believe that I know everything there is to know. I desire to and am capable of learning and growing. With that, I will make mistakes and do things that are to be corrected. I try not to cast too many stones, because I am constantly guilty of something and I need to manage my own faults first. I am allowed to help others with their mistakes and faults and learning, provided it is done in a way that increases health, promotes well-being and advances the culture.

So, as we go forward into this new year, I want to encourage folks to join me in ratcheting down the catastrophe talk. Let’s view difference as a potential opportunity. Let’s be less scared. Let’s be more confident. Those two things don’t come with price tags that we must collect from others. Our society, our country and our mutual existence & relationships are not zero sum gain events. I can go forward without having to take from someone else to get there. I can be better and grow without tearing someone or something else down.

In recent years I have had to help people ease into a new way of thinking with baby steps and stating the obvious. Sometimes I will use disclaimers. The disclaimers for the lawyers and wannabe lawyers out there — I am not saying overtly or covertly that everyone is good or wants to be. I am not saying that we live in a perfect world. I am not saying that all cops are great people. I am not saying that our current President is wonderful or even good. I am not saying that people don’t do things that they need to be punished for.

What is the standard to which we are held accountable? Everyone can’t be right at the same time. Can we exist in a confined space (let’s say 3.9 million square miles) together without feeding on each other in order to exist?

Thinking through a plan here.

It’s ok to add to your world if it doesn’t take away from someone else’s world. It’s ok to have things. It’s ok to want. It’s ok to have dreams. It’s ok to pursue happiness. I don’t have permission to take from anyone, whether it’s things or power.

Maybe that can be a standard to operate in for a while. I am not in charge though, we are. One person doesn’t rule another nor should they. I don’t gain by taking and you aren’t permitted to do that to me either. The sky isn’t falling. But it will if we make it. We all have a say in that. We determine a lot. We have been yelling fire and foul for far too long. The most control you have and the most power that you have is within you. Control your thoughts, words and actions. Be responsible for you. Be accountable for you. Today, take a deep breath. Tell yourself that it’s ok. Really, it is. We have places to go, things to build and lives to enrich. Hurt, hate and selfish will get in the way of those things. I am willing to only HELP you. Are you willing to only HELP me? I am willing to do my part. Are you?

— R. A. Grier