January 22, 2011
Many years ago I began to notice a change. However, the change didn’t begin recently. I have spent a lot of years working with kids around the Southeastern US. Most were in trouble for one reason or another. As a good problem-solver should, I searched for the cause of the problem. “What is creating these kids?”
In finding the answers I had an opportunity to do a lot of observing. If there were simply a “maladaptive” set of behaviors, then the solutions would be quick and the problem solved. Sadly, that wasn’t the outcome in a lot of the cases. There were more and more kids. Those kids were coming from generational dysfunction and living in areas that did little other than topical gestures to abate the growing “problem”.
As you are more than likely new to me and the way I think and write, I must caution you to not get lost. The stories I tell appear to be fragmented and sometimes dissimilar to a theme. Rest assured, they come together. Think of it as staring at the first puzzle piece and not being able to see the picture. Secondly, I will assure you that I am neither arrogant or conspiracy minded. I see, process, query, connect, seek scenarios and then present for others to consider.
The pliability of Americans is very great. Without a doubt, we are the most absorbing, changing, stretching, reaching, and forgiving set of people I believe exist. We also are becoming optimistically unaware in our approach to our milieus and situations. Crisis comes and we will usually go through a period of unrest and noise and then it will fade. Prices spike, weather strikes, crimes occur and so on and so forth all around us each and every day. Information is now immediate and abundant with regards to all of these situations.
While I don’t have information to support a conspiracy theory of a small group of people, with puppet strings in hand who seize the opportunity in a softer, more ignorant America for their own personal gain; I do see something else that is worse.
As I understand our brief history in this country, we are a product of a tyrannical overseer that was England. The vastly smaller number of “Americans” back then recognized something that was wrong (even after being quite pliable) and had the fortitude to set out to make it right in their eyes. This meant discomfort, risk, courage and sacrifice. David was gearing up to throw a rock at Goliath. Frame this with the times. Life wasn’t comfortable to begin with. There were no convenience stores. There was no email. Transportation was attached to the bottom of your legs or you mounted a critter that needed feeding.
We are not that baby nation anymore. We are a nation with an increasing number of babies. We are not a nation driven by Independence, but rather a nation “in dependence”. We are not proudly “America!” anymore, but rather “a me rica” culture who happen to have to live in the same space.
Easy is not good and pain is a warning.
As I understand physiology, things will atrophy without prolonged use. My kids (above) were just the last domino to fall. “We”, with our short-term memories and “don’t want to get any on me” approaches to responsibility have demonstrated the layman’s definition of insanity. All too often, our systems have artificially affected outcomes through consequence and reward management; all through an ever-widening lens of “easy and pain-free”.
My kids, didn’t have the knowledge or familial (or other system) support to have the courage and humility to address and solve their problems while they were small. Ultimately, some go on to prison (or worse) and the audience watching it all on TV espouse in the moment how horrible that person is to do such a thing and very briefly fill in the blanks of an already well-formed and repeated stereotype picture with the details of the “crime”.
blame – an attempt to avoid responsibility in an effort to mitigate discomfort
Problem – an undesired pause/stoppage in a process without an immediate solution available
In my line of work, fear and insecurity are the slayers of most things good. I love and enjoy engaging in the debate of the day. However, talk usually doesn’t benefit anyone other than plants. Violence as a solution is the act of desperation by those without the capacity to find solutions and without a belief that a solution can be found. Isolation is the same, but usually doesn’t draw attention. We will see more or both of these in the coming years. In the middle of the curve are those still attempting to engage in the process. On the fringes are those who think the process is fruitless and in the periphery is the ever-growing sea of “just existing”.
The solutions will not be as easy as correcting one system or having the “right” person in an office. Solutions won’t be found in rhetoric, debate, hate, shame, blame or compartmentalizing or hiding small groups into safe zones. More than what I have described above as a reduction in resilience, determination and cognitive wherewithal; we have lost a sense of unity and nationalism. There isn’t a person or a group today responsible for all of this. To find those responsible, we must first take a hard look in the mirror. The steps you take after that act will determine the course of a Nation. Leadership should not be loud. Following shouldn’t be compelled.
My kids were just doing as they were taught, or filling in the blanks on their own when there wasn’t good or adequate teaching and modeling. Not knowing what to do usually leads to some fear. Unfettered fear looks like anger through frustration.
Sincerely,
Robert A. Grier
PS – This writing and my others are typically sent through multiple outlets. Please do not steal. You certainly may recite as long as you cite.